“For I know the thought I have towards you, it’s thought of good and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Jeremiah 29:11” (KJV)
Are you a man or woman, thirty-five years and above, single- never married, divorced, separated, widow or a widower?
Do you know God is still setting the solitary into family?
He has neither forgotten nor abandoned you; He is ever thinking of you?
This is the season for ‘New Things’
Remember his words in Isaiah 43: 18-19a, “Do not cling to events of the past or dwell on what happened long ago, watch for the new thing I am going to do. It is happening already, you can see it now!” (Today’s English Version)
The fact that you are 35years old or above and are not yet married does not mean you are a failure, or a social misfit!
Are you a widow or widower? You can still find love! Remember, a marriage vow is "till death do us part".
Are you divorced, separated, or a single parent? It is time to put the past behind as you forgive your former spouse or partner, receive wholesome healing and let the Lord bring restoration to your love life.
686 Fellowship is the group to belong!
GOD sets the solitary into families... Psalm 68:6.
Join us as we meet on the 2nd Sunday of every month. You will be glad you did!
The 686 Fellowship was set up to minister to single adults who are 35 years and above and either:
686 was taken from Psalm 68:6 (New King James) “God sets the solitary in families; He brings out those who are bound into prosperity; but the rebellious dwell in a dry land”
Mature Dating Starts with Serious Older Singles
There is a current misconception that, if you are older and are more mature, then your relationship days are over. There is no age limit on love. You can discover true love even later in life. For most of us, failed relationships earlier in life have frightened us and lead us to think that our dating introductions are finished. The truth is that, thousands of older people every day meet the love of their life. Love is no respecter of people and that includes age barriers. A few pervasive thoughts among older singles are: “you are too serious to date, there is no more time and you do not know where to begin”.
Many mature singles feel like they are too old to date. They believe that life has moved beyond them with no aspirations of ever discovering love. Some older individuals who have been in a relationship before and are now deceased feel like their love is gone and that is the end of it. The truth is that, attraction and relationships are readily available for anyone looking. One of the better methods to get over this mentality of being too old is put yourself around other older singles that are seeking out lasting romantic relationships. If you recluse yourself you find your thoughts wondering and allowing discouragement to set in.
Another mental obstacle many mature singles face is the thought that there is no more time. As we get older we start to feel like time is going to an end. But, the truth is no one understands the day or moment that life will end. You could have dozens more years of vitality left and how do you want to remember them? Do not allow your heart to grow resentment but take courage and jump out and invest in other relationships that are searching for a romantic relationship. There may be a lot more time than you think. So do not spend another minute thinking about – act on it!
Many mature singles are ready to date once more but do not know where to start. They feel like their list of friends has diminished or is stumped. They may feel like they have joined every social networking spot they could think of and still have not met anyone of possibility.
The traditional way of going out still works for some individuals. But for those who are really looking for other dating older singles, the best place to begin is with an internet matchmaker that is aimed towards a more older audience. Here you will meet hundreds of local mature singles that are all searching for the identical thing; an older and healthy romantic companionship. Do not waste your time going to the nightspots and clubs, instead cut out all the ground work and let the real matchmakers assist you meet true love.
Getting older has its advantages and pitfalls. You should never allow your age hold you from fulfilling the desires of your heart. If you want companionship and true companionship, then, aim for it by placing yourself in the right spot, like an online matchmaker, you can find real companionship that will progress.
Gloria suddenly woke up, for a brief moment she could not remember where she was. Then, reality dawned on her—she was in her dining room. she glanced up to check the wall clock, she could not believe she has slept for 2 hours. How could she have allowed sleep to carry her away for so long when she has to go to work?
She has spent the night in the hospital as she has been doing for the past 7 days with her son who has been on admission; shuttling in between the hospital, her house and her place of work.
It must be that the stress is now telling on her. Or how would she explain her falling asleep while on the dining table, even without taking her food? As a matter of fact, going by the feelings in her body, she should be lying down on the bed.
“Oh God, what will I do, I am so tired. I must take care of my son; I need to keep my job too, and my body is not helping matter at all. I am so weary, and all alone,” she lamented.
Call it the dilemma of a single working mother; you will not be far from the truth. Single mother, either by chance or by choice are both ‘Mom and Dad’ put together.
Being the only parent in the house is an arduous task, and despite the missing mate, the single mother must work to support herself and her child or children as the case may be.
A single working mother is a superwoman with the extraordinary flair for balancing her parental responsibilities and her responsibilities as an employee.
A single working mum is face with the challenge of striking right balance between her children’s need and her work, so that her children do not feel neglected on account of her career, and at the same time, she must not be behind in discharging her job responsibilities.
Life as a working woman and an added task of being a single mother is very complex. Being the sole “Guardian Angel” to her children and also the sole breadwinner of the family with an immense responsibility to raise her children all by herself makes her undoubtedly a woman with plenty of emotional strength and a steely determination.
The single working mother faces challenges ranging from working to earn enough money to take care of herself and her children, physical stress and emotional trauma, and hostility from her immediate environment to mention but a few.
In the recent time, the fact that, even single mothers can set excellent standards when it comes to raising children is now a proven fact has made the society now to be more considerate, supportive and receptive to this new type of working mothers abounding in almost every field.
Analysts have said that if single mother would have to compete with her fellow married women and men alike in the fields of work, she has to equip herself with the necessary tools like getting the right education, being focus, and having a strong determination to succeed, regardless of the challenges on the way.
Instead of looking for sympathy and consideration from her employee and colleagues, she should try and succeed in not giving anybody a chance to differentiate her from her full-time devoted women co-workers without family responsibilities.
Janet Anderson is a single mother with two children. According to her, before her divorce, she was a full time housewife because her husband wanted it so. After her divorce, she was lucky to get a well paying job in a bank.
Luckily for her, her mother was there for her; she stays with her, and helps her take care of her children. She however confessed that it has not been an easy task playing the role of the father and mother together.
Jerome Onipede, a psychologist and a counselor on the popular television program “New Dawn” in a chat with the writer, spoke extensively on it.
According to him, “a single working mother is faced with a complex situation of exercising caution in all she does so that she will not jeopardize the life of the child. She takes extra care raising her child because she wants the child to come out well. At the end of the day, she may become a perfectionist, even when the child is grown up, she would still be reluctant to let go, she would be unconsciously clinging to control the child’s life”.
Another side to it, according to Jerome, is the aspect of guilt. She feels guilty that she could not give the child a stable home, where the child will grow up with his father and mother in the atmosphere of love.
He also added that the woman sometimes may not be interested in marriage again, depending on the condition that turned her to a single mother.
He concluded that the combination of all those factors in addition to the fact that she is working to provide good life for her child makes the life of a single working woman to be complex, but her determination to succeed would go a long way in helping her to overcome all her challenges.
- Bolajoko Olugbile.
The Lord's Temple
There is a rest that you cannot find in sleep
And a labor that you cannot find in work
There is a love that is beyond living
And a life that is above loving
There is a sanctuary that you cannot find in church
And a God that you cannot find in religion
We look to sleep, work, living, loving, church and religion
When we are actually seeking Rest, Labor, Love, Life, Sanctuary and God
There is a resting that comes from laboring
And a labor to enter into rest
A love that begins with dying
And a life that begins in loving
There is a sanctuary, a secret place of God, of which I seek
Yet, there is this temple, me, where the LORD dwells.
Word of Inspiration
Psalm 94:19s, 22... In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul. But the Lord has been my defense, and my God the rock of my refuge.
Psalm 107: 2...Let the redeemed of the Lord say so, Whom He has redeemed from the hand of the enemy.
Hebrews 11:1... "FAITH is being SURE of what we hoped for and CERTAIN of what we do NOT see", The Lord always will be so nearly tangible beside you, that you rather feel regenerated than drained. He is so faithful...just awesome.
Psalm 33:7...You are my hiding place: You shall preserve me from trouble; You shall surround me with songs of deliverance.
Psalm 40:1,2... I waited patiently for the Lord; and He inclined to me, and heard my cry. He also brought me up out of the horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and establishes my steps.
Psalm 31:7b, 8...For You have considered my trouble; You have known my soul in adversities, and have not shut me up into the hand of the enemy; You have set my feet in a wide place.
Psalm 71:3...Be my strong refuge, to which I may resort continually; You have given the commandment to save me, for You are my rock and my fortress.
Psalm 55:22...Cast your burden on the Lord, and He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.
Jesus and Satan
Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who managed to get the most out of his computer. This had been going on for days and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering.
God said, "Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job."
So down they sat at the keyboards and typed away. They moused away. They did spreadsheets, they wrote reports, they sent faxes, they sent out e-mail, they sent out e-mail with attachments, they downloaded, they did some genealogy reports, they made cards, they did every known job. But just a few minutes before the two hours were up, a lightning flashed across the sky. The thunder rolled and the rains came down hard. And of course, the electricity went off.
Satan was upset. He fumed and fussed and he ranted and raved, all to no avail. The electricity stayed off. But after a bit, the rains stopped and the electricity came back on. Satan screamed, "I lost it all when the power went off. What am I going to do? What happened to Jesus' work?"
Jesus just sat and smiled.
Again Satan asked about the work that Jesus had done. As Jesus turned his computer back on the screen glowed and when he pushed "print it", it was all there. "How did he do it." Satan asked? God smiled and said, "Jesus Saves."
A Powerful Daydream! I began having romantic feelings for a married man about 12 years ago. He is a godly man with whom I have a great deal of contact at church. We have many similar interests and talents, which has resulted in our being involved in many of the same ministries. Although I know we are friends, I do not believe he is ever had any idea about my feelings.
I admit when I first realized I had these feelings; I celebrated them. Then I lamented the fact that he, being ten years older than me, had met and started dating his wife when I was still a child, thereby never giving me a chance to stake a claim.
I indulged in daydreams where we were free to be together, including one, I blush to admit, in which his wife had conveniently died, leaving me to bring joy and love back into his life. But I never let it get beyond the point of dreaming.
Whenever we were together at meetings or rehearsals, I never let any sign of my feelings show. However, I allowed these dreams free reign until one Sunday coffee hour when, in the course of a casual conversation, his wife and I discovered a mutual interest in collecting classic children's books. She jokingly told me she would leave me her collection in her will, and my first thought was I would rather you left me your husband.
I do not know why, but that stray thought convicted me of the inappropriateness and downright sinfulness of reveling in my attraction.
I began to pray daily to be delivered of what had become my obsession. It has not been easy and I have not always been successful. There are times when I see him and still feel a slight flutter.
One thing that helped was forging a friendship with his wife and seeing that part of what makes him so great is her influence. Another was to change my perception of the situation and to tell myself the qualities I found so attractive in him are qualities that other more available men also possess.
Someday, if God sees fit, I wll find a man; a single man who has those qualities and wants to share them with me.
I desire a godly husband and that desire is strong. God showed me it is OK to admire godly men and OK to desire to be with one. But He has to help me keep those desires pointed towards available men, practice healthy boundaries, and purify my thoughts.
I now practice the following boundaries:
- Any guy that is dating or engaged, I consciously picture as married. They might as well be; they are "taken."
When e-mailing engaged or married men, I add their spouse's name to the greeting, and try my best to never email something that could be taken out of context by the spouse. This helps keep the boundary real in my mind.
When leaving a phone message, I always add a "Say hi to Grace;" or "I hope you both have a great week." This helps me remember this person is in a relationship, and it is a way of showing respect to his partner.
I always leave at least one seat between a "taken" man and myself. I need that physical boundary. It is a conscious effort to respect the sanctity of his relationship with another and to avoid temptation.
I am training myself to turn to prayer quickly when facing temptation. I ask God to protect the man he is preparing for me. I pray for God to help him resist temptation and for other women not to tempt him.
Has God purified my thoughts? Yes! Praise Him! He is reassured me through the Holy Spirit that he knows what I long for. Asking for that reassurance brings my focus back to God and off the person in front of me. Also, God challenged me to prepare counter attack Scriptures for whenever temptation comes along. His Word has wonderful promises.
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